Get your ticket...

I've been a little disgruntled the past day or so over losing one of my blogs after spending quite a while of thought and writing put into it. I even woke up yesterday morning with a pit in my stomach because of it. After giving the loss and the initial frustration over to God I can honestly say I feel completely better about it and am up for writing a new one.
I've always enjoyed watching scary movies and became very addicted to a specific series of them. It was as if there was a gap I was trying to fill by getting a dangerous scary high from watching them, but all I was doing was filling my mind and heart with gore and foul language. The next movie of this series came out yesterday and I've always been THE FIRST IN LINE to see it when it comes out but this time around I wasn't feeling as anxious to watch it yet at the same time I was still battling whether or not I was going to go see it. I have battled this for quite a while now. I even threw out a bunch of my scary movies 6 months ago and then i accumulated two or three more since then. In my devotions this morning I read Romans 16:18-20 and it states, "For such people are not serving our Lord christ, but their own appetites. by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil." THIS HIT A NAIL OVER MY HEAD because How am I to be innocent about what is evil if I am filling my brain with it and paying money to do so??? I feel I was filling my own appetite just as this verse says and everyone has heard about my obedience and God is full of joy over me, why would I want to go ruin that??? For you it might be something else that is hindering you from allowing God to be joyful over you or you may be making decisions that are evil in God's eyes concerning something completely different. We know we should be exercising our bodies and putting healthy foods into them so shouldn't we also be doing the same for our minds??? If we let our intellect fade and numb our minds with useless things, that is what will come out of us in the form of words, ideas, or actions. And this is so true for me because when I watch a horror film I end up not only being afraid later when it's dark in the house but my mind goes back to the gore and terrible sinful scenarios and replays them until I am in a worry in my mind over 'what if this happens to me?' And then I begin to doubt God's protection and I begin to dwell on the "rush" of the sensation the movie made me FEEL....but, we are not to be making decisions based nearly upon feelings but also upon God's word and what we KNOW he is speaking to us about. I had been in prayer about this movie for a short while now and I am greatful to say that I do not need to go see this film to have my gap filled. He is slowly filling in my crevices and holes with HIM and His word and I am blessed by this!
Something I too can cling on to is Phillipians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Perhaps I will go make my own movie now and finally get rid of the rest of the ones that were keeping my mind stuck in a place it ought not to be! Tickets go on sale next weekend...

Stuck on Bandaid!

Just minutes ago I had a nice looking finger until a rotten hangnail got in there and I did the oh so famous mistake of pulling it and caused me some pain and a bandaid to cover up my mistake! Thankfully the bandaid will help heal it up and I won't have to type with a big piece of "tape" around my finger anymore. It is very awkward to have this on while trying to convey a message!
This makes me think of our lives and how we have nice things going for us and everything is looking great until we come across a stumblingblock or a hangnail so to say that causes us to give in and pull it thus resulting in pain, suffering and annoyances. I am so thankful that we can go to our HEALER (bandaid) who created us and he will restore us back. There may always be that scar from the initial tug in the wrong direction but the next time the hangnail is hanging out we can remember the painful process and choose to not yank on it and keep ourselves beautiful..inside and out!
I was in prayer and was reminded today of how important it is to be encouraging to one another regardless of the situations we are in. In Romans 12:8 I love what it says, "If it isyour gift to encourage others, then DO IT! If you have money, share it generously (this direction please!! lol) If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. and if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." HOW VERY TRUE IS THIS?? I have to often force myself to find something nice to say to my own husband because I do not naturally feel it at times. God has given me such a plepheral (not sure if that is a word) gift of being an encourager these days but that doesnt' mean I always put it to use. We ought to be utilitizing the gifts God has given us and even if we do not feel we were instilled with encouragement everyone can say "thank you or you look nice or wow, that was a nice thing of you to do today" Do it with the right spirit of not just wanting to feel better about yourself but because you truly want to brighten up someone else's day and help them become a better person and in turn you too will become one. We should never feel as if we have reached any mark of being finished with using our gifts and talents. We also shouldn't compare with others. (I do more then he/she does so therefore I'm doing fine)...Keep yourself in check with Jesus and know that there is always more encouraging, giving, and teaching you can do. Help others to not pull their own hangnails by being involved in their lives and the more you open up and do this you will find that you no longer have hangnails of your own that even decide to come up because they know they won't get pulled anymore! If God be for us, who can be against us? Don't let Satan be a stumblingblock to you if God is talking to you about something specific. Take that step and obey. Let Jesus be the last bandaid that you need! Stick to Him and you will stay in good condition!

Doing something wise with it.

Someone in my hometown won the lottery the other day...I wonder who it was...I wonder if they will use their money wisely that God has given to them. I think of Job who was blessed beyond measure with riches and glory and yet he chose to serve God with his wealth, despite the hardships.
Although finances are sometimes hard God has always supplied for us (My God shall supply ALL your needs according to his riches in glory) and continues to do so. We have been struggling to figure out how we were going to pay for my dental bills for quite a while now. I have put off getting work done for 2-3 years now because of finances. We finally decided we were going to do it no matter what. God intervened via NAVY MARINE CORPS RELIEF yesterday and we were given two checks totalling almost $2,000. This covers the bulk of what I need done. This was such an answer to a prayer and blessing to us that I probably havent' even fully thanked Him enough yet for it.
My parents, bless their hearts sent us some money too to help out with the boys and dental and put towards christmas since we had almost delinquished our account. I am so greatful for loving supportive parents who see a need and feel led to help meet it. Thank you Lord for the parents you have given me and for all the years that I turned my back on them you allowed them the energy and the strength to keep their eyes fixed on you. Bless them for their words and thoughts and kind deeds. May they continue to find favor in your eyes. Amen.

Today I am overly tired and emotionally exhausted. It's been a very long week and I am a little upset at myself for missing about three days of doing my blog but I'm not going to beat myself up over it! God has still been teaching me new things daily and I strive to apply them to my life.

We went to a parenting bible study/life lesson this morning that we are involved in at church andI so enjoy soaking up the info and the experiences from other families and the pastor and Michelle. I love seeing other people's perspectives on things and giving me pointers on how to approach certain situations in behavior, etc. I struggle with comign together with my husband beforehand so that we can back each other up and be consistent. This is definitely a prayer of mine that he and I would get on the same terms and likeminded in our parenting so that it would not cause any more strife. I feel like I am so stressed out with the kids the past couple days, and not because of them but because of the immense arguing Sam and I have been doing. Satan is poking his head in on our business and trying to rip us to shreds right where he knows we struggle and I will be doodlebusted if I am going to stand by and let him do that. It is now that we need to look to God even more for our strength, answers and guidance in this situation.

I keep thinking today is Sunday when in actuality it is only Saturday!!! Was supposed to have someone over tonight to hang out but I am not sure if I can manage it without a good nap.
So, on that note, I am off to lay down and rest my body and mind and spirit.
I trust that whoever won that money is out doing something wise with it and if it were my parents that they send me even more of the "love" soon! lol

Filling up the backpacks

Sitting here at the very tail end of the day I look back over it and am trying to collect from it something or somethings that I learned. Because, everyone knows you are "supposed to learn something new every day" right??? This morning I learned that I should have checked my son's homework on friday instead of 3 minutes before the bus pulled up and I saw an assignment to find something that started with 'W'. I quickly thought "what starts with W that I can send in his bag??" OF COURSE...WATER...so I fill up this little tupperware container and then stick it in a gallon size ziploc bag and down into his backpack. All the while praying and crossing fingers that it stays inside the sealed bag and doesn't spill on his papers. After I put him on the bus I was able to think of many other W things I could have used but it was too late.
Something else I learned was that sometimes we meet someone and waste too much time staying in the distance and not getting to know them until it is too late and they are moving away. Had a playdate this morning with a friend who is moving in a month and I neve rhave gotten as close as I would have liked to. so, we are gonna stay in touch and do the fb thing I am sure..the last thing i learned from all of that was if you get somewhere 15 minutes earlier then the other person you should get out of your car and wait up front for them so they aren't the ones finding you still sitting in your car talking on your phone. She scared me because she called me then I looked out the window and she was standing in front of the restaurant. so I had to laugh at myself then. for there was nothing else to do. when I got inside I learned after ordering my meal and sitting down that I had forgotten to order a drink so I made a mental note to self to order a drink the first time so I dont' have to go back throuhg line like I did today to get a drink. and somehow my drink cost more then my meal...how does that happen? it was coffee. and my meal was soup. hmmmm. I learned that a great friend of mine is hurting badly and I shared my heart with her and am praying for her situation and will always be greatful that she entrusted me with this info. Later I learned how giving people are when I got a call from a store on the mall saying they had more shoeboxes for me. I got there and was able to fill about 12 big garbage bags full of shoeboxes for operation christmas child. Now I am working on getting people to fill them up. I spent this evening with a friend picking up her son from the dr.'s office and just being there for her when she needed someone to be there. I learned that it is good to have solid christian friends who can pick you up when you can't pick yourself up and in turn will be there for you in your times of trials. I learned that my children love me very much indicated by them verbally telling me this tonight! :) they are becoming more and more obedient each day and I pray for t heir souls and their futures and the decisions they will make down the road that they be God honoring ones and not self pleasing. I am their role model and so this places me in a frame where I am stared at always to see if I am living up to the criteria of the "perfect example"?? I don't imagine anyone can be that except for Jesus himself. We are to continue to be like Jesus day by day and walk in his shoes and teach our children and those around us of His word and truths and promises. And am learning how to do this without sounding culty or too overspiritual. I'm in three differetn bible study groups now and on a praise team. It's great for my soul but I need to learn to remember to apply it and what I am learning into my real life or else it is all pointless. Things are always subject to change. in 2 Cor. 4;18 it says, "While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." We tend to be visual learners and can't fathom believe something that isn't there. Obviously God is there whether we believe it or not. He is always around us waiting for us to follow His leading. No matter how hard your body is hurting hie words say, "by his stripes you are healed" No matter how bad your finances are his word will always say, "My God shall supply all your needs" I pulled out a winter coat two days ago and was completely broke and needed to run get something but had no money. I reached down in the pocket and there was 8 dollars. And then later that day a friend of mine gave me a belated birthday card and it had 20 dollars in it. I tried to give it back saying that was too much but she refused. It was just amazing How God sent two visuals for me to see how He works when I already knew he could . Don't settle for what the world says you can ha ve. Lay hold of what the WORD says you can have. Center your attention on the etneral truths of god and look not to the things which are seen. After all, they're subject to change. Just like our military orders. We just got told that we are now on a four year rotation which puts us staying here till march of 2011. My prayer now is that God will find us a home we can rent/buy soon and not have to pay a nasty move out fee here. We want something a little more spacious but not crazy big yet...just more room for the kids to play and for us to have our own place instead of sharing with others in a building. Today I've learned that by throwing our hurts down into the pit that we once were in is in a sense throwing them at the feet of Jesus and just leaving them there....He will cover them and they will be no more. His poor feet have taken so many things from me being flung, tossed, chucked, yanked off and slung his direction...but Praise God he is allowing us to send them in his direction!! So, what is it that you collected from your day today? Was it noticing someone who needed help and you possibly helped them? or did you bypass them thinking they could manage on their own? No one can manage alone...we all need Jesus. You can try to go it alone but let's just meet up in a few weeks and you can tell me where your life is at and I will share with you where mine is at t hat point. So, in a subject to changing world something we can rest assured on is the 7,000 promises that god promises to cover any circumstance you'll ever face. And no matter what happens those promises will forever be the same. let's begin collecting good change, the word of God daily in our lives, prayer, collect a good attitude. it surely will take you very far in life as opposed to a nasty attitude that may leave you high and dry and miserable. Seek the Lord, put him FIRST remember there is always a promise for every situation and God will never leave you or forsake you.
so, w hat starts with W? WORD of God and WISDOM from his WORD. These r things we ought to carry in our backpacks each day! I'm going to fill mine up tonight so it's ready in the morning!!!

nutshell

I was rushing around this morning getting everything ready for church. I was going early to help setup the welcome table. So off I go and when I get there it's alreayd set up... was reminded that it was YOUTH sunday so they were taking care of EVERYTHING...saw some boys in the hallway goofing off and the one had climbed up into the trash can and then he climbed out. I thought it would mak ea great picture for the youth group bulletin board....so i asked him to get halfway in it again...so he does but ends up getting somewhat stuck and thenthe pastor comes along and I had to say, "I TAKE TOTAL BLAME FOR THIS..I ASKED THEM TO GET INTO THERE"..lol so, out he came and was thankful it was just recyclables in there!!
the teacher was sick so we kept the boys in with us...they did great with crayons, papers and rachel sitting beside them to keep them company. The message was preached by the pastor's son, Johnny. He spoke a great sermon on living in the world but not of the world...Jesus came to the world and lived amongst them and was never tempted by them to sway his thoughts or actions. he reached out to those in need. Just as we should be doing.
After service we ran home and changed and then Michelle came and picked the boys and I up and we drove to rachel's field hockey game. that was an interesting game to watch!!! Rachel did really well and Kyler was cheering her on...it was cute!
played at park for a little while and then we went and got ice cream at a place that was closing tonight for the season. Came home after that and I left at 4:30 for a bible study at a friends house. This study is on the old and new testament laws, stories, etc...it's going to be very interesting finding out all this stuff in intricate detail...and, it has homework....
I'm pretty exhausted now because I am still recooperating from saturdays activities and little sleep last night!!
tomorrow i have a playdate in the morning and then a meeting with a friend at panera bread at 1. bus stop at 3:45, then not sure what the evening has in store for me...probably reading or studying...

that was my day in a nutshell...now it's time for me to go to bed...

Do you have insurance?

Of course you are a good driver but what's to say the other 100 thousand people out there aren't? This is one reason we need insurance. Let's say you decide to go the back way to work to avoid traffic hassle and you end up stopped and waiting behind a huge accident. Or you end up in one. Although nothing was wrong with the decision you made to go that direction, ultimately the choice you made took you down the path to an abrupt stop . If you had chosen to go the other route you might be thinking, "I wouldn't have been late for work and had to waste so much gas stopping and going or I wouldn't have been hurt and injured and car totaled. But, if there is a reason behind everything that occurs then we ought to believe that no matter which direction we had taken we were at the risk still of being privy to things going into disarray. We make decisions every single day that affect not only us but those around us. One tiny choice can change the entire course of your day. What would have been ended up not being because you chose something else. I keep trying to figure out in my mind if Adam and Eve had never bit into that apple when they did how long it would of been until someone came along and did it? Were they on a time limit if they got to a max number of days they had made it and no longer had to worry about starting the fall of man??? God already knew they would do that though so I wonder if He even needed to have a separate option of path in his mind if he knew that the path they took was already their destiny.
Why then do we need to make decisions if God already has it all figured out and nothing we do is going to change what He knows of us. We can't surprise him by always doing right or making a mistake once in a while. He knows we are going to do that before we even do it. So why is He yearning for us to choose righteously if He already knows we will or will not. Can he change our minds/hearts without it having changed His?? It's so much to fathom . I have changed the way I was living as many people do by just making daily righteous decisions instead of wrongful ones. God wants us in his presence but knows that tomorrow we may not be if we choose to do B over doing A.
In Ephesians 4:22-31 it talks about choosing to throw off your old self (devil nature) and choose to renew your thoughts and to display a new nature because you ar ea new person. Letting your words you say be an encouragement to others and to rid yourself of bitterness, anger, rage and slander. We are clearly told what decision to make right here so why would we ever not choose this way?? Why would God tell us to do this stuff then stand by and knowingly let us fall into temptations path? The only thing I can come up with is because he doesn't want robots for children. Instead, he wants those whose hearts and minds are focused on him but still are able to be tempted. It makes us stronger when we resist temptation and turn to Him then when we give in to the temptation and have to come crawling back. And then it's even harder to stay focused because of the memory of the wrongful action. Remember that Jesus was tempted but he resisted it by quoting scripture. How pure his mind must have been as well to of not even sinned in thought process. If we start cleaning up our dirty road and signs along the way we might be able to see what direction the sign is telling us to take and thus make a wise choice as opposed to a hurtful one. And to do this we need to pick up our bleach, rags and swords (the bible)so we can defeat the enemy from taking us in the wrong direction. And in turn avoid BIG failures in life. Soak yourself in the word and prayer and memorizing verses/passages. I so struggle with memorization so it's something I need to pray that God would give me the ability to retain it when the time comes to have it to stand up against that old nasty Satan and his tricks!!! I can see where the devil could easily grab hold and rip this marriage apart again and in all honesty the past couple days I have been feeling distant, distracted, stressed and not even knowing why and it has effected the relationship I have/am rebuilding with hubby. We've been arguing more again and I'm feeling put down like I used to and I KNOW THIS IS FROM SATAN..he is trying to attack me with these doubts and feelings...I've drawn away from Sam just a little bit but inside am not wanting to be doing that, but because I choose to draw away I live with the red flags flying up all over the place saying, 'warning, warning...get back on top of your marital devotions and praying and communicating because if you slowly fade out it's as if yo are throwing your own mud on your road sign and will be harder to get back to where you belong the further you go on that journey. So, let's DECIDE to willfully choose what that still small voice is telling us so that in turn we can avoid all accidents altogether on the way home. It is a daily choice we make to sign our day and life over to the Lord. I am endeavoring to get my mindset in line and do better at being a loving wife as opposed to a stressed out frustrated aruging one. let all anger and wrath and bitterness be GONE... I am trusting in Jesus to be my insurance and coverage on this trip! Do you have insurance?? If not it's time to DECIDE TO get on your knees and get the complete coverage package!

Better think twice..

Did I seriously just blow on my ice cream because it was too cold in my mouth?? I am thinking my reflexes are a little out of wack. Why do the kids wait until bedtime to start coughing up a major storm? I just emptied the humidifier so it wouldn't grow mold in it and I thought, "Oh yeah, they aren't having colds anymore so we don't need this thing now" And now they are in there hacking and snorting up their snot. ewwww... Kyler was munching on something the other day for like 1 whole minute and I asked him what in the world he had in his mouth because I had not given him anything to eat. His four year old little serious voice piped up and said, "mom, I'm eating my booger and it' sa chewy one so it takes longer" I WAS NOT SURPRISED and it was too late to do anything about it. Just told him that boogers belong in kleenexes and if you must eat them then do it in the privacy of your own room! lol how's that for good advice?
Speaking of advice God gives us some clear cut advice in so many areas of life . What I relearned this morning was that God advises us to run to Him not away from Him in our trials. We have never done anything so bad that God can not wipe away and we be able to move on in our spiritual lives. In I John 2:1 it says, My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But, if you do sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who pleases God completely.
I felt this morning as if my attitude were all over the place and my thoughts were definitely not his thoughts and so my actions were not what His would of been either. Just the way I grumpily bumped along today off and on was more depressing for me than anyone else. I kept trying to be vibrant and chipper but my fuse was shorter then usual today and I still need to stop and ask God to forgive me for getting so worked up over small little details or issues in my life that could be better dealt with if I were to just pray in my struggles instead of lose sight and faith altogether.
Sharp uncomfortable pain has been shooting out of the middle of my back and off my right shoulder all yesterday and today. I took ibuprofen earlier and a muscle relaxer but it didn't seem to help any. I still feel twisted like pretzel as I said yesterday. But very sore and nothing seems to be helping. Perhaps I need to practice better posture, which I am trying to do when I sit here but often I slump over and then it starts hurting worse. I could not have a job where I had to sit behind a desk all day. I would go insane not being able to get up and go do stuff somewhere else. I am a go go go people person most of the time. So sitting down every day all day is difficult for me. Unless I am on facebook. ha ha ha. Just pray that this will subside sooner then later. I count myself blessed to have a functioning back and shoulder though so I am not trying to complain, just sharing what is going on painwise.
A few weeks ago Kyler had scratched on the kitchen table with a fork. He had engraved alphabet letters into it. He denied having done it at first and then later he finally came to and admitted it. so he was punished and then a couple weeks later He had done it again and Cade caught him in the act. He was disciplined again and put to bed at 6:00 when it occurred and it made him sad that Cade and I were still up and he couldn't come play. I thought, surely this will end his fork engraving days...but sure enough but this morning at breakfast he and cade were eating and I heard the infamous holler, "mooooooooommmmmm, Kyler's cutting on the table again.." so I went over and caught him in the act and asked him why he did it?? " He replied something to the effect of "cade was singing the song wrong or had said something wrong in his mind..." either way, it had nothing to do with needing to dig the letter A into our nice kitchen table. I sware we need one of those plexiglass things over top. Suffice it to say, he lost two days of playing games/tv. And for Kyler that's a lot since his famous quote when I say it's time to turn the games off and play something else is, "but that's the only thing we know!" which is SOOOO NOT TRUE. these kids play a lot of games but they also love playdoh and legos and coloring and playing regular board games too. But he cracks me up with the things he says.
I still have to run an errand tonight since my husband decided to go to sleep at 5:00 or so. I was going to send him but I guess it will be me! I need to get out anyways...had a long day!
Tomorrow is the Elkridge FireHouse open hall from 10-2 if anyone wants to come. I will be working there and I have no clue what I will be doing, but wherever they need service done I will be volunteering!
Going to try to get some good rest tonight as well. I just hope I don't have goofy dreams like I did last night...I woke up because in my dream a friend of mine was calling me, same ringtone that she has on my phone and this is what woke me up this morning right at the perfect time...so I ended up texting her at 5 a.m. to thank her for being my wakeup call in my dream! ha ha. she was up too, cuz we go walking...didn't want you to think I go around calling my friend at the wee hours of the day...you migh tthink twice before getting to know me eh? :)
Goodnight!

Pretzled

I'm feeling very twisted up like a pretzel today. For some reason or more then one reason my fingers are taking turns going numb and tingly and my back has been twisted/twisting all day causing pain to shoot up and down the spine. It then sends tingly numb feelings down the leg into the foot. right now I am praying about it as opposed to getting fearful that it could be more then overuse of a computer for the finger/hand thing. Praying it isn't anything critical. My vision has been going a bit blurry today too...
I managed to get a lot done today though despite the minor muscle ache setbacks!!
Sometimes I feel like my spiritual life is pretzled up...all twisted and entertwined around myself. What I need to continue to focus on is putting God in the center of that pretzel and then entertwine myself around Him.
I am going to choose to praise Him in this pain and bless his Holy name. "By him therefore let us offer th esacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name." (Hebrews 13:15)
I want to continue to experience the joy of realizing that God is indeed "rich in mercy" because of His great love with which He loved us. Praying that my faith will rise to new levels and my Father will be blessed, and in turn I will be blessed through my pain.
Speaking psalms and praises magnify God. Singing songs to him magnify His name.
I believe that if we are wrapped around God as the center of our life then the pretzel twisting will begin to unfold into the shape of a cross and our name will be put on that cross as an eye opener that He died for ME , this sinner who deserved to not go to heaven, and he not only did that but he offered Himself to let me wrap back up in His wings when I feel I couldn't make it on my own. Which is most of the time!
I want to not let a moment go by that I am not blessing the Lord for grace, mercy and love and gifts he has bestowed upon me. May we seek to be pretzled around HIM so that he can unfold his truth to us and further bless us in the process.