Firmly planted

A simple prayer that God would show me tonight what he wanted me to learn from His word. I even told Him that I was going to randomly open the Bible so if he wanted me to grasp tight to something it needed to be on those pages! :) Wouldn't you know it I turned right to 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn (a big one)in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakenss Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in INSULTS, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." can I get an Amen? :)
When we are in battles some are easier then others to walk away from or remove from our lives never to be seen again. We develop red flag warnings even to prepare ourself for when those moments might be on their way so we can divert away from them and use Eph 6:11 Put on the armor of God....I am looking at the previous verse of delighting in weakness, insults, hardships, etc...in a very peaceful manner right now. I know that Satan is attacking me through someone I know very well because I kicked off a lot of the bad and he saw his moment to come in and find a weak spot for me thinking he could pull me back down. I REFUSE TO GO DOWN AGAIN...My feet are planted firmly on this rock/ground/solid foundation in Christ. And the more I grow and learn the harder it is for Satan to get through and make his goofy points make sense. I've learned to use Proverbs 15:1 all the time. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger" took a trip to Eph and got my helmet and sword and breastplate so that I can be fully armored for this one. If someone loves someone sooo much shouldn't they be wanting to know that person more and more as opposed to degrading and putting down every word that comes out of my mouth? I was very hurt today by my spouse and the disgusting derogatory words he chose (I say satan chose em for him)to say to me instead of taking that opportunity to say, "wow, honey, that's awesome that you got free tickets you were created with such a personality that can walk up to anyone and just talk and they will hand you the world....." but, no I didn't get that...am I looking for recognition? absolutely NOT. I'm begging though to be trusted enough to be heard...and that if I want to run an errand I can simply go run it and not get a lecture about how it's gonna cost gas, etc...So you can only imagine how confused I was when the next line was, "hey, I'm going to the mall to buy fishing poles" My response:"Ok honey, have fun but remember it's getting late too and we wanted to watch a movie tonight" long story short He ended up going today instead of yesterday and took my friends husband with him. While the wives took the kids on playday. Not once though did I put him down or give him heck for running an errand last night after he told me I couldn't. God has NOT given us a spirit of fear. At one time in my life I had that fear from control and it no longer reigns in my body. I am a beautiful creation of God placed here on this earth to share what he Has to say to me and others through me. I am growing daily and it's just sad that some peple do not delight in repentance and change. as if it is easier to communicate when there are problems in my life for him to fix. He was raised fixing lots of peoples problems and this is how he has learned over time...problem=immediate solution...and for some proud reason He feels He is the one with the solution and there is no chance that I could have a thought regarding the situation.....I mean, God did purposefully place me as his wife in his life and he my husband for a reason and I believe we ought to be listening to what God is telling us through the other person... AS I have been handing my issues to Jesus he is restoring my soul and bringing me a new joy and love for everyone around me including those who choose to use me to point blame on when things go "wrong". I get asked what direction we should go, so I answer and explain why I think it would be a quicker route and then we immediately take a completely off the wall out of the way route to get somewhere and when it took longer I ended up with the blame put on me. Ok Lord, I can deal with this, not gonna let it ignite a fuel in me that retaliates...made a comment or two ...but what hurts most that he does not see or get is by doing that you directly tell me "your way is absolutely wrong and the way I wanted to go would of been way better" What I feel God leading me to say was, "God places people in our lives to be helpmates/friends and to speak messages to one another and I believe and feel strongly that you need to start listening to me because on top of gaining trust and respect you will be giving it back to me and then in turn it will come back to you. but, if you are constantly pushing my buttons looking for anything you can to attack/ignite good luck because you aren't gonna find it anymore. This overwhelming peace God has given me is what I am soaking in and feeling more and more confident about what I know and how I know it and I do not need to be corrected on every little miniscule thing, nor do my friends need that either. Music is a big thing for me...I listen to only christian music so when I hear anything else I leave the room....not out of judgement, but because I know it's something that can hinder me from being where I need to be and want to be with God. So, I was attacked with this awful music this morning and this hideous tv show last night that I just simply said, "I'm going in the other room, sorry" I am praying constantly before I respond to any words, because it is no longer me but it is Jesus who gets to speak through me and oh what awesome things I've been learning from letting him do that! I hold tight to this verse of sufficient grace and power made perfect in weakness. I love him so much and saw such goodness in him when he was letting God work in his heart. It's just so sad and upsetting that Satan the weasle is hitting me through hubby. He's trying to crush me to the ground in my spirit and I am praying Satan out of him and for a change of heart for him and to continue to change my own heart! I want my husband back and I'm not sure where he went to.
not sure if he can comunicate with me if I am not in a pit witha problem that he feels he needs to solve. I am literallly standing here saying, "go ahead push my buttons, but it's not worth it to me and I have no anger pent up or retaliation in me. I've been so blessed lately and more joyful the past week or two and I have a hard time getting angry at anyone. And I am not angry at him now either, just sad that it's happening again and I don't know if he sees it or not but God completely revealed it to me and I'm seeing it left and right. I want to be what I need to be for him but I refuse to listen to him belittle me with a disgusting comment. I will just walk out of the room and pray about a response before going back in.

this has probably not been helpful blog for anyone but me...just keep in mind that when you start letting go of things and giving them over to God Satan finds other places to come in and hit you with and people to use to do that whether they believe it or not. So always be on guard and be well prepared! Be confident in Christ, know who you are in Him and know what you know and that you truly know it! ya know! :)

I'm going to end this with a simple prayer as I stated at the beginning of this blog.

Lord, as the bombs are going off I feel a peace being in your defensive attire and knowing you are always there for me and you are the great healer of hurts and the one who can cause confusion to be unconfused within seconds! I praise you for this. Thank you for all you've been showing me and are going to show me about life and who you designed me to be.
I ask that you would kick Satan out of this relationship because he's really starting to get on my nerves coming around in different ways trying his lil games.
Lord, bless my husband and work in his heart to allow him to desire to be closer to you and remove his pride that he has carried for so long...take it from him Dear Father. He is such a wonderful blessing that you created but he lugs a lot extra and is starting to get worn down from it and needs you to rest upon. Help him to see he does not have to be right on EVERYTHING and cause people to feel utterly dumb in his presence, very hurt or more sad after the fact. REveal to him what you have for him in life and the talents you have given him to be used for YOU not to glorify others and get pats on the back for a job well done. Help me to be the wife I would love to be to him in the midst of this struggle Lord. Keep my prayers non gossipy and non badmouthing. show me Lord what I can be/do to interact better with him so we can get off this degrading hill he's trying to build. Continue to give me the words, strength and joy and blessings that come from doing what I know is right and listening to what I know is your word speaking to me. Help me to not stumble and to not be a stumblingblock to someone else or to my spouse. It takes 3 Lord to make this work and without you in the center it's not gonna work. I give you center reign, and I pray that my husband can also be ok with that and that you would give him a true peace that he has never had before. Bring some good christian friends into his life as you have brought me into mine to be a support and help in times when you just need to chat.....and you don't want to chat with someone who is going to make worse of the situation. Bring us both the proper people Lord. I'm not giving up this easily but Satan sure would like to see me fall, that's for certain. I'm worn out Lord from the past week or two of this so I ask now that you would give me some good rest tonight and would allow me to wake up refreshed and ready to learn something new at church tomorrow. Thank you for a husband and two beautiful children. Bless them as they sleep and open their hearts as well tomorrow to hear what you would have for them all. thank you for your bible passages and what they mean to me.
I pray all this in your name, Amen.