Digging up and out!

So often in life I've made promises to myself to commit to something and stick with it and in my head it looks great, easy, gonna work out, etc. until it DOESN'T. Life is an up and down process the whole way and what I've been learning over the course of the past few months is even when I've given up on myself there is a God who is still there encouraging me to keep going and to rest in His arms and that He loves me regardless of the situation. He is my restorer of marriage, my healer of hurts and my ticket to a neverending life spent with Him.
In the past few days I am learning a lot about who I was created to be and have been given a joy that I have never owned before. I am purposing to use this blog as my daily journal entry as I strive to learn something new every day. This morning the verse I came across was Ephesians 5:8 "For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now youa re full of light from the Lord and your behavior should show it. For this light witithin you produces only what is good and right and true. "
I learned this morning not to brag about my changes or accomplishments but I will share some of my convictions just over the past few days. It is as if I am a new person and it feels weird, yet wonderful all at the same time.
God laid it on my heart to remove my piercings two days ago (tongue, belly button, monroe and nose). This is a personal conviction in which I am not condoning anyone who has these and am not turning goody two shoe, but for me these were keeping me stagnant and in a place t ha tI could not move forward. I was holding onto past hurts, memories and Satan was using that as a tool to keep me in the pit that I had been in. God handed me a shovel thankfully and I bashed Satan over the head and am beginning to dig myself out of this hole I have lived in for so long. I am seeing the top more and more each day and wondering why this has been so difficult to stay up there. I have concluded that it was never a change of heart but rather just of actions to justify it in my head that I was "doing what was right or what appeared proper." I realized that my body is a temple that He abides in. This next one is hard to share because I held onto it for many different reasons and have purposed so many times to quit but never have made it as far as I have now. I laid my smoking and occasional excessive drinking at his feet and although was worried about how I would get through a day without smoking I have begun reading verses when I felt the urge to light up and it has changed my desire for what I thought I needed to get through a day. I am purposing today and from this point on to never feel as if I have reached the top of this hole completely and I pray that I can continue to be chiseled away at and molded into what I was created to be/do. My thoughts have changed, my mind and heart are constantly wanting to sing, I'm for once in my life not ashamed to post something like this out of fear that someone whom I have partied with or thought I was "cool" will no longer like me now because they think I have gone wacky or something. I am not ashamed and I am proud to make that statement and only hope that I can continue to make right decisions and be what I need to be to others who have been so much to me when I needed them most.
I love the verse because it speaks the truth. "once full of darkness now you are full of light"
Please pray for me that I will NOT trip and fall all the way back down into the pit, but rather would stay on top and be reminded of why and how I got there to begin with and realize going back down is hurting my back and my hands from trying to scramble around and climb and dig with that shovel. Lord keep me afloat and on my knees daily. Place in me more of a desire to reach out to others in a way that would not cause them to think I was looking down on them now and allow me to not only be blessed by them but to be a blessing in the process so that yo would be honored in it. Amen.