emotionally drained

I am so thankful for such a wonderful powerful God who offers peace in trying times. He gives us direction and conviction of places we need to be and people we need to seek out at certain times and he blesses us for taking steps of faith. I will say though that today was a long day for me. We had a parenting/marriage counselor in our home for almost 4 hours and although I knew she was coming I didn't intend on her being there so long but we had so much in common and Sam and I were talking and a lot of issues were brought up that we h adn't touched on in a while and so there was some more healing that took place today along with some tears and triggered emotions in the wrong direction causing arguing, etc. I am glad though that God has this marriage in His hand and it did not get out of control.
I have a close friend I am lifting in prayer tonight and will continue to do so as I know God is a God who does not turn his back on us if we choose to seek Him. I fully know I can't live this life without Him anymore and I am not quite sure how I managed to survive for so long without Him truly in my life. ??? was hanging on by a thread I guess.
My body is screaming at me to go lay down and my mind wants to stay awake. It's such a battle for me to sleep. I feel like so many things are a struggle for me and I don't want to fall back into the pit of alcoholism or smoking or lavish shopping addiction but I am aware that if I do not stay aware of it it could happen again. I am taking one day at a time but am ok with people knowing my downside or my vulnerability that is. Perhaps it is more a weak spot that satan can come in and attack me at and he knows right where to try it at. after having a four hour conversation half of it on alcohol with our marriage counselor/parenting program lady I was starting to be stressed otu from it and feeling the urge to drink...but didn't want to...just knew the urge was there so I crushed it and moved on. then we were at restaurant and there were signs everywhere for discount beer night/mixed drink specials etc....this too was a temptation and a battle that I had to say no to. I ordered pepsi and struggled through it but felt a peace after i resisted. for me I dno't honestly believe that I could just drink a beer .... or a glass of wine it would or has in past gone on and on. I ha ven't drank in a few weeks but when i was drinking it was addictive in many different ways, shapes and forms. even while the lady was in our home talking about all of this and stresseing me out I said, "if you had a beer here right now I would maybe take a drink of it" but of course we didn't it was just speaking metaphorically I guess...
so anyways...our conversation ended up really well stated and she did a great job of bringing out what we needed to know and have in our marriage to stay stable. I look forward to meeting up with her again soon. I am being designed now for what he has for me. I just hope he can let me go to bed first then w can work on all the other stuff!!! :)